circular reasoning
Once upon a time, a public relations firm with a speciality in "crisis management" communications for unscrupulous politicians decided to take the high road.
Henceforth, all of its employee hiring would be drawn from the condemned souls housed in the Eighth Circle of Hell, the one for liars. (This would be a remote work arrangement.)
A press release from the firm quoted at length one of the new hires, to explain the firm's thinking:
"Having been condemned due to my lying to reside here for eternity, I no longer have incentive to be anything other than entirely honest.
"I have nothing more ever again to gain by lying. Because of it, I have already lost everything: my prestige, my worldly riches, my life, even my soul. I can regain none of these.
"Nor do I have anything left that could be taken from me. My soul already is forever damned.
"Moreover, all of us here in the Eighth Circle feel a great remorse for our earthly dishonesty.
"Therefore I will be nothing less than forthright in all things. I will give nothing less than the most trustworthy advice. I will advise our clients always to be virtuous. I will be franker with them than any earthly advisor could be. Trust me on this one."
However, a rival firm denounced the new hiring strategy. In an interview with an industry publication, it insisted:
"Baloney. These condemned lying souls, hired by our competitor, now have no incentive to do anything but lie!
"Their newly engaged liars are the greatest, proven cosmological experts at the art. They will give their clients the worst, most devious ever PR advice, wherever they can, however they can.
"Why? Because they will lie out of pure spite! Having been deprived of all happiness forever, they have only one remaining, final 'satisfaction,' that of causing yet more souls to fall into perdition and join them in the Eighth Circle.
"Let's be clear. Our competitor's new staff will stop at nothing to do what they have always done best, now to contribute to the eternal downfall of their formerly fellow, embodied souls. These doomed will watch with malicious gratification as every soul they can influence is condemned to share their fate, that of perpetual floggings, roastings, immersions in pits of excrement, and whatnot.
"In fact, these liars will continue to lie because they no longer have anything to lose by dishonesty! Nothing is left to incentivize them not to lie. After all, they are condemned to the Eighth Circle for eternity.
"What will Satan do, demote them to some lower Eighth Circle of Hell?"
posted by TiR at 7:01 AM
